


I like all about you

by Space_Samurai



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Body Worship, Established Relationship, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Insecurity, Mild Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-06
Updated: 2019-11-06
Packaged: 2021-01-24 10:09:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,193
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21336514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Space_Samurai/pseuds/Space_Samurai
Summary: “Do… Do you think I’m ugly?”Rey choked on her salad and looked at him as if he had gone insane. “Are you being serious?”Ben looked down. He shouldn’t ask a question if he didn’t want to hear the answer. “Yes.”
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 14
Kudos: 215





	I like all about you

**Author's Note:**

> So, a life ago I read a fic with Insecure! Ben and Insecure! Rey, it was a one shot that has since been deleted. I liked the concept a lot, so here is my try. Featuring Insecure!Ben only and Loving! Rey.

He has never liked to look at himself in the mirror. In fact, he avoided it if he could. In the mornings, when he combed his hair and washed his teeth, he only looked when it was absolutely necessary. During his childhood, he had been the favorite target of mean kids, with his big ears and long nose. As he had been shy and quiet, he responded in the only way he could think of: violence. Which would become a constant companion in his life, along with anger.

Rey had been his first everything, it had taken years for him to put aside both his self-loathing and doubts to ask anyone on a date. Nevermind his temper. Now, his life was better. He had started to talk to his parents once more, though tentatively and not in excess, he saw a therapist once a week and he was in a relationship. A good, healthy, stable relationship.

He had met Rey eight months ago and they had just recently moved together, after five months of dating. It went beyond him, how he had managed to convince her that he was more than an asshole with issues (which he still was, just to a lesser degree). She was amazing, having come from a less than ideal background, Rey had turned her life around with nothing but her own efforts. Ben couldn’t be prouder of her.

But even if their relationship felt like a dream and Rey had never given him any reasons to doubt the sincerity of her words, Ben still flinched when she complimented his eyes or his hair, twirling a strand between her fingers. She didn't need to indulge him: Ben was fully aware of how he looked like. He still appreciated the intention, eyes and hair were things neutral enough.

It hadn’t helped that when he had introduced her to his parents, his father had been astonished, and has stared at her with a gaping mouth until his mother elbowed him on the ribs.

"It's hard to believe that my son has landed himself such a charming young woman," he had said during dinner. Rey had laughed politely and Ben had looked to the side. _Thanks Dad_. He couldn't believe it either.

It bugs him, the thought lingering in the back of his head for days. To make it worse, he even takes it to bed with them. Rey lets him fuck her from behind, burying her face in the pillows and moaning softly as he moves. He doesn't tell her why he’s chosen this position, when he’d normally prefer to have her as close as possible, chest to chest and her arms around his back. He feels dirty when they are done and the only thing that keeps him from running to the bathroom to shower (or hide) is that Rey brings his face down for a kiss, locking him in place with her legs.

It takes him a while to fall asleep that night.

He has met her friends, there was one guy she had went on a few dates with; he hadn’t looked much like Ben. He was leagues away from him. It bites him and the question echoes in his head: _what if she isn’t attracted to him?_

He brings her lunch to work almost daily. His times are flexible enough to allow it and there’s little he likes more than to see her eyes brighten up at the sight of him at the door of the garage. Rey always eats his food as if it were gourmet and she makes his heart jump when she thanks him with a kiss on the cheek.

They are sitting in front of one another, at an isolated corner of the garage, when the question slips out of his lips.

“Do… Do you think I’m ugly?”

Rey choked on her salad and looked at him as if he had gone insane. “Are you being serious?” She asks, whipping away the lettuce bits from her lips.

Ben looked down. He shouldn’t ask questions if he didn’t want to hear the answers. “Yes.”

“What the hell Ben?” She sounds confused, upset almost. Ben has to bite the inside of his cheek to keep anything else from leaving his lips. “Where did that come from?

She still hadn’t answered. Of course, Rey was good: _too_ good to tell him the truth at his face. “Just tell me.” He whispered.

“Of course not! What the—?” She shook her head, putting down her fork. “Who told you that?” Everyone, essentially his whole life. “And why the _hell_ would you believe them?”

"I know what I look like," he made a vague gesture with his hand, pointing at his face. Embarrassment flooded him. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have asked—"

“You look,” Rey purred in a low voice, “like a ten course meal with extra dessert.” The look in her eyes was playful and determinate and her hand went to touch his knee, Ben’s stomach tightened. She closed the lunchbox and put it aside. “I don’t think that was enough for me. I’ll ask Rose to cover the rest of my shift, and we’ll go home”

* * *

They never reach the bedroom, Rey pushes him to the couch before he can take another step. The walk home had been silent, but not uncomfortable. Rey’s grip on his hand was warm and firm, pulling him firmly towards her and preventing him from running away from the inevitable conversation.

She straddles him and Ben moves his hands to her hips, Rey’s go to his neck and slowly make way to his hair.

“Who told you that you were ugly, Ben Solo?” Her voice is barely above a whisper. The curtains are closed and the living room is dark, he feels slightly better about not having to face her. Her fingers massage his scalp, gently scratching with her nails. He has always liked it when she does that and Rey knows it.

Ben remains silent and Rey sighs. She grinds against him, moving closer until his eyes are on level with her neck. He buries his face on her chest and she lets him, humming contently. “Or did the idea occur to you?” When he says nothing, she pulls lightly from his hair. “Tell me.”

“People used to tease me about it… And I’m not blind, Rey.”

“Tease you about what?”

Ben swallowed. “My nose, my ears—“His breath caught on his throat when her lips found the shell of his ear, nibbling softly.

“I _like_ your ears.” Rey commented casually. “And your nose.”

“You don’t have to lie—,”

“I like how it feels when you are eating me out or when you nuzzle my neck when we are cuddling.” Ben’s mouth felt dry. “I like all about you, and it would seem that I’ve done a bad job showing you.” One of her hands left his hair, to reach between their bodies. She felt him through his pants and Ben moaned against her.

“You don’t have to.”

“But I want to.” She lowered herself to look him in the eye. “Do _you _want me to?”

Ben bit his lip. “I do.”


End file.
